Tempoh hari, kawan aku cakap doktor tu suruh dia buat miracle. Sekejap tadi, dia tu suruh aku buat magic pulak.

Aku tanya kawan aku, kalau-kalau dia ada pencil sharpener (”peraut” cakap Melayunya). Dia kata tak ada, tapi pisau ada. Aku terlupa, pisau juga boleh digunakan untuk menajamkan pensel.

Kalau pisau, aku sendiri pun ada. Aku pun letakkan mata pisau pada hujung pensel, dan mula memotong. Lalu aku tersedar, aku kekok, aku dah lama tak asah pensel guna pisau!

Sejenak itu, nostalgia zaman kecil-kecil memburu-buru masuk memenuhi ruang minda.

“n00b” is a 1337$p34k for “newbie”, somebody new to something, of which usually explains why one looks like an idiot when doing that something.

I am a n00b driver. Got my license a few month back, but didn’t really use it until recently. Embarrassing really, for a guy of my age. I’ve actually promised myself to blog about the victory long before I’ve even registered at the driving school. But afterwards, out of embarrassment, I managed to forfeit it. It’s a promise to my own self anyway, and I’m not angry, so it’s all fine.

I had my motorcycle license since after SPM though. Wahida (my bike) had been my trusted companion through hard times, rains and thunders (she’s being left to rot right now, as we speak). And I feel that I’m driving now still with a rempit mentality in my mind. You know when there’s a small gap between those two cars in front of you, you feel just enough to fit yours, and your feet is itching to step on it. But I’ve been holding those thoughts down because I realized that I’m a n00b.

As a n00b, thus far, I’ve done these stupid things as follows:

1. Leaving car unlocked when parking.
2. Locked the car, but forgot to wind-up the window.
3. Park like a moron.
4. Turning without looking at the mirrors and almost got hit by a motorcycle.
5. Switch lane without looking at the mirrors and almost got hit by a car.
6. Forgot to switch on the light at night.
7. Engine died at traffic light.
8. Wrong gear at a wrong time.
9. Overrevving all the time.
10. Noticed that I didn’t release the hand-brake after driving for 10 metres.
11. Noticed that I didn’t release the hand-brake after driving for few hundred metres.
12. Actually, I did once drive with the hand-brake on until smoke came up from the wheel. It smells funny. You should try it sometime.

Well, the sooner I complete the n00b list the better right? Please suggest some more items.

p.s: Doing that hand-brake thing when stopping on hill slopes… Man, that’s creepy.

Aku resah beberapa hari ni. Ada orang yang rasanya suka aku, tapi rasanya ada juga yang tak suka aku. Ada yang mulanya suka kemudian tak suka. Ada yang mulanya tidaklah suka dan tidak juga tak suka, tapi kemudian suka. Ada yang berubah sebab mereka sendiri, ada juga yang disebabkan oleh aku.

Walaupun memang aku harap semua orang sukakan aku, tapi itu mana mungkin kan? Kalau aku terus sangat cuba mahu semua orang sukakan aku, rasanya boleh juga. Tapi nanti hasilnya jadi semua orang sukakan aku, tapi terkecuali seorang, diri aku sendiri.

Aku baru je join Facebook beberapa bulan lepas. Bila join je, aku terkejut dengan apa yang Facebook boleh buat. Sangat banyak functionality berbanding community website yang lain macam Friendster atau MySpace.

Sebagai ahli Facebook, sudah tentu rasa ia menarik sebab ada (sangat) banyak functionality (dalam bentuk small applications) yang kita boleh “main” dan kongsi dengan kawan-kawan. Sebagai ahli Facebook, dan pada masa yang sama adalah juga seorang web developer, benda ni aku rasa phenomenal. Sebab applications ni bukan Facebook sendiri yang sediakan, tapi orang ramai yang buat, dan hostkan dalam Facebook. Yang paling menariknya ialah macam mana applications tu boleh blend dengan begitu baik dalam UI yang disediakan Facebook. Amazing.

Ada dulu orang bertanya, “What is Web 2.0″. Secara sinis, orang menjawab, “You provide the content, we get the revenues”. Aku tak dapat cari quote yang asal. Tapi memang itulah cara website-website seperti Flickr, MySpace, Digg, LinkedIn, YouTube, dan sebagainya berfungsi. Orang ramai yang akan submit content dalam bentuk tulisan, gambar, audio, dan video, berbanding cara Web 1.0 (pre-Web 2.0, whatever the version is :), yang mana content ditulis dan disediakan oleh penganjur laman web tu sendiri.

Dalam hal ni, Facebook bergerak selangkah lagi ke hadapan. Bukan sahaja content, tapi juga application. Facebook membuka satu platform baru yang mana dia mengajak orang lain buat application dan hostkan dalam laman webnya, yang sangat menarik hati sebab Facebook dah ada user-base yang besar, berjuta-juta ramainya.

Maka OpenSocial terhasil, orang kata sebagai Google’s reaction to Facebook. OpenSocial ialah satu standard API, yang mana akan diimplement oleh website yang ingin jadi “platform”. Kemudian orang akan buat application yang ikut juga API ni, dan plug ke dalam website tadi. Bermakna macam kita buat application utk host dalam Facebook, tapi yang ini bukan setakat satu website je, tapi kita boleh letak dalam berbilang website yang implement OpenSocial API ni.

Tak kisahlah apa kesan reaction tu dari sudut business, tapi sebagai seorang web developer, aku lihat ni sebagai langkah penting dan positif dalam perkembangan web application. Ini membawa frasa “web as platform” to a totally new level.

Bayangkan orang boleh buat satu application, yang ikut standard API yang dah ditetapkan dalam OpenSocial, dan application ni boleh dihidup sebagai applet atau widget dalam website-website yang besar macam yang disebutkan di atas. Maksudnya kita tak perlu start from scratch, kita boleh terus tap into their user-base dan derive obscene amount of traffic. And of course, kalau lihat dari segi business, obscene amount of revenue.

It was my birthday several days ago. This entry should come out on that day, but I didn’t have time to write it up. So, here I am, officially, a quarter century old!

That title up there was the title I’ve long planned to use for this particular entry. Like it suggests, I’m having a growing old guy problem, the dreaded receding hairline. But now, I don’t think I’m balding anymore. Or at least I don’t think so. Maybe I did really grown some hair, or maybe I am just loosing perception of how a normal hairline should be, or maybe I just don’t care anymore. Whatever it is, I’m not as concerned about it as at the time I came up with the title. But I kept it anyway, just for fun.

So, because of that, instead of telling the adventures of a guy going though some “deforestation” problem like what I’ve previously planned for, I think I should talk about something else.

And of course, since it’s my birthday, none more appropriate than talking about the topic of life and the meaning of existence of myself. For short, this entry is about questioning why I should live. Did you ever thought about it? I mean why you, as in yourself, should live, not why I should live. If you’re thinking about why I should live, I think you got some slight problem of homicidal intentions there ;-)

There are times during my life (a lot of time), that I thought about why I should live. Not suicidal thoughts or losing faith in the mercy of Allah or anything, but, yeah, you know, like why do I have to live? Life is hard. It’d be easier if I don’t even exist in the first place. I always been thinking of that. Aren’t we going to die anyway, so what’s the point?

If I don’t exist, what would the rest of the world would be? Is there somebody somewhere whose life would be worse, or would they be better, or would there be no effect at all?

But come to think of it, I don’t know why I even have thoughts like that. My life is not that bad actually. It’s not that good either, but I had a happy family, got good grades at school, have a decent job with a decent salary, and I even enjoy my job most of the time.

Compared to those really unfortunate people. Those who live in extreme poverty, in starvation. Abused wife beaten every day by her husband. Childrens who’re being hated by their parents. People who just lost their loved ones. My life is nothing near that, I wish it’d never be.

I wonder what’s refraining them from seizing to live; slicing up their wrist, or pulling the trigger off a shotgun which barrel’s shoved up their mouth, or take a plunge from the very top of a 23 storeys building smashing their brains into small bite-sized pieces splattered all over the pavement, or hanging their neck with a wire from the ceiling fan and be found several days later with the head nearly dropped to the floor because the wire almost cut through the neck, or maybe… Ah ok, that’s a tad too much gory details for some of you. But you get my point, right?

Why do I live. I don’t think I have found the answer yet. Maybe I won’t, until the very end. Like Limp Bizkit says in “Take A Look Around” (the Mission Impossible song),

“life is a lesson, you learn it when you’re through”.

 
p.s: This year’s birthday is quite special than usual. That’s why I wrote such a long entry. Special in a happy kind of way. I am happy.

Had a long hiatus from blogging, but I’m back now. At least I try to. Been busy up to my neck these few weeks. Apart of the the work load and trying to have a normal life, blogging has to be set aside as a lower priority. Which I really shouldn’t, it makes me feel that I’m losing my knack for writing.

So, in my last post, several weeks ago, I said that something important happened, which was… I’ve changed job… again. Twice in a year, that’s quite a shock when I told it to my friends. No big deal really, right?

I’m not really looking for another job at first, but opportunity just fly over sometimes, and some are worthy enough to be grabbed. So, now I’m in a new place. Busy as a bee. Tasks had been line up for me, I’ll just have to gleefully execute it when I came. Hooray?

I’m feeling a bit smug today, `coz I’ve accidentally completed all my important todos for today early in this morning. So, lucky you, I’ve decided to write. And also because the boss is not in today.

So, this entry is a tribute to my former colleagues at AsiaXpress. It’s been a pleasure working with you all. Pn Raja who has been an exceptionally caring boss (she knows my blog, I have to say good things :D She is nice, really). Jini and Fiza who’s been harassing me all the time (miss you gals ;-). Fauzi who have to bare the burden for whatever mess I’ve created there (sorry bro, not much I can do).

Nina, Yin Theng, Dida, Sadirah, Adiya, Adilah, Farid, Rohin, Jen-jen who’s been wonderful and friendly to me even though I don’t really talk much. And not to forget the ever joyous and cheerful and loud Operations team led by Abg Man, and Abg Mizan, Saiful, Zul, Azrin, and Bob. And also to Nori, and Ila, and others which I don’t remember your name really because you’re always stay far away at the counter because that’s your job, greetz to you all too. And to former-former-boss, En Firdaus; and the-should-be-former-boss-but-left-before-i-joined, Meor for giving me the chance to work there in the first place.

That’s about it in my office. But I work in a project slightly unrelated to my company which is hiring me and paying my wage. It’s weird really working in a situation like that. I’m a bit confused to which party should I dedicate my loyalty to.

But the people in the other project were great. I had a blast hanging out with guys from the IT Lab (or ET or whatever, but IT Lab sounds nice) Faisal, Nizam, Rushdan, Fadhlan, Irwan, Abg Hafiz, Zehan, and Kak Tina, and former IT Laboratorist En Hamdi. And also my greetings to PITTIS team Nava, Najmin, Hanafiah, Rizal, Nani, Kak Sham, Pn Jamaliah, and En Nordin.

Pheww, that’s quite a mouthful. Hope I didn’t left out anybody. If I did, I want you to know that I still remember you… it’s just I didn’t remember your name.. or your face :P

Near my final days there, they did some farewell party. AsiaXpress guys gave me a Sony MP3 Player, worth RM200. Fuiyo, even though it’s after raya, they still managed collect quite a sum of money. Actually they were short for couples of tens of ringgits, but the boss decided to top it up (didn’t I say she’s nice :). I love it very much, because I asked for it. Hey, they asked me what I want, don’t blame me.

IT Lab gave me a mug. You know, you guys should try harder next time… A mug… But hey, I’m not really that materialistic :D I cherish every gifts. As a proof, I brought the mug here at work as my trusty container of the caffeine induced beverages (coffee) for my daily consumption.

Jini, the one who keeps harassing me and owes me a lot of two ringgits, gave me a Parker pen. It has been clipped in my pocket everyday. Never fails to be there when I need it. Really useful, you know, for things that you usually use pen for, like for writing or something. I do a lot of that everyday. And the other harasser Fiza, gave me a note pad (is it? don’t know what’s it called) which she manage to grab somewhere from her desk the minute before I left the office, which I can write on with my previously mentioned pen. Awesome combination.

Well, nostalgias set aside, `tis the time now to move forward and carve history. New frontiers lies ahead, new challenges waiting to be beaten… I’d say, bring it on!!! Just please don’t hurt me too much okay…