Hari Isnin lepas, aku pergi ke satu ceramah agama kat tempat kerja aku. Oleh sebab aku cuma datang sebab nak makan jamuan lepas ceramah tu je, maka cuma cerita tauladan ini yang aku ingat:

Pada zaman RasuluLlah dulu, ada seorang pencuri yang dikejar orang ramai, dan dia bersembunyi ke dalam masjid. Semasa itu RasuluLlah S.A.W sedang memberi kuliah. Kata baginda. “Sesiapa yang inginkan sesuatu, tetapi menjauhinya kerana ia haram, maka Allah akan mengantikannya melalui cara yang halal”. Lebih kurang mcm tu lah, aku kan datang nak makan je, tak berapa hafal sangat lah. Tapi ajaran yang satu ni melekat dlm ingatan pencuri ini.

Malam tu, pencuri ni nak pergi mencuri lagi. Jadi dia pun target la satu rumah ni. Oleh kerana dia mmg kaki pecah rumah yang handal, senang je la dia masuk. Dia masuk lalu dapur. Nampak ada makanan. Dia pun tengah lapar giler ni, ye lah, dari siang tadi kena kejar orang. Bila dia nak jamah je makanan tu, dia teringat kata2 RasuluLlah tadi. Dia pun jadi serba salah dan tak jadi makan.

Lepas tu dia geledah lagi, nampak ada byk harta benda dan barang berharga. Memang tugas seorang pencuri, itu lah dia cari-cari. Tapi sekali lagi, dia teringat kata Rasul. Terus cancel, tak jadi ambil.

Terus dia round lagi dlm rumah tu. Masuk bilik pulak. Rupanya ada seorang perempuan kat situ. Perrghh, baek punya cun plak tuh. Hati bergelora beb. Tapi lagi sekali, dia teringat juga kata RasuluLlah tu.. Terus dia batalkan hasrat keji dia tu, dan pergi dari rumah tu.

Dah penat nak merompak tapi tak jadi, malam tu dia lepak kat tepi masjid kat situ. Tidur la kat situ.

Esoknya, perempuan yg rumahnya kena pecah masuk pergi mengadu dgn RasuluLlah. Dia bagitau lah,

“Rumah saya ada orang masuk mlm tadi, tapi yg peliknya tak ada benda hilang. Jadi saya takut la, kang orang tu datang balik kang tak best la kan cenggitu.”

Rasul tanya, “Tak ada orang ke kat rumah awak?”

Perempuan tu kata laki dia dah meninggal. Tak ada saudara pulak tu.

Rasul tanya, “Kenapa tak kawin? Lagipun awak harta pun ada, rupa pun boleh tahan jugak lah”

“Dah tu, takde sapa gentleman nak masuk meminang.”, dia jawab.

“Kalau saya carikan seorang laki utk awak, awak nak ke?”

“Kalau RasuluLlah kata OK, saya set je. Canteek…”

RasuluLlah nampak seorang lelaki tidur kat tepi masjid tu. Dia panggil,

“Kenapa tidur sini?”

“Saya ni hidup merempat, ya RasuluLlah. Kajang Pak Malau kajang berlipat, kajang hamba mengkuang layu. Dagang Pak Malau dagang bertempat, dagang hamba musafir lalu”, siap pantun lagi tak tahan tuh.

Sebenarnya, kalau para pembaca budiman tak perasan lagi, dia ni lah pencuri tadi.

Tiba-tiba, Rasul tanya kat perempuan tu,

“Nak ke kalau saya jadikan lelaki ni sebagai suami awak?”

“Kalau OK kata RasuluLlah, OK jugak la kata saya”, jawab perempuan tu, malu-malu kucing.

Kat situ juga Rasul nikahkan diorang.

Pastu dua orang pengantin baru ni pun balik la rumah. Sampai je rumah tu, tarkujatz la lelaki tu. Ini rumah yang dia nak rompak malam tadi!

Dia pun cerita kat isteri dia tu semua perkara yg terjadi. Isteri dia pun redha. Semua perkara berlaku adalah ketetapan Allah. Apa yang lelaki tu nak malam tadi, semua dah dapat melalui jalan yg betul. Lalu, mereka pun hidup aman dan gumbira… Hurey…

Lepas tu aku pun pergi la makan nasi beriyani best punya. Lauk ayam masak merah ada, lauk rendang daging ada, ikan pun ada, acar buah. Betik, tembikai. Ada dessert lagi. Air dia pun sedap wooo.. Banyak makanan. Siap tapau lagi pakcik2 ni daging2 tu semua. Ye lah, ceramah agama bukan ramai orang datang.

AlhamduliLlah.. Kenyang giler babeh aaah.. Aku kan datang nak makan.

p.s: Ayat2 diatas mungkin telah diubah serba sedikit utk disesuaikan dgn pertuturan masyarakat kontemporari.

I went to MEDC (Microsoft Embedded DevCon) last Tuesday. I don’t want to go at first, have loads of thing to do at office, but I came anyway. DevCon stands for “developer conference”, so please remember, do not hope to find lots of cute girls there. Well, I’m not saying female developers are not cute, but they are scarce. But, if you are, a cute female software developer, do send ur pics to my email ;)

Ok, enough talking crap. As usual, there’s lots of talks, which I don’t really listen to. Since that I don’t really dig into embedded or mobile developement and stuff, so most of what they said were gibberish to me. The keynote speech was fun though. I kinda like the hands-on-labs (there’s one hot girl instructor in the lab). The computers are pretty slow, maybe because we have to run the tutorials in Virtual PC. I did several tutorials, like, err, I dont remember, hhmm.. did I tell you there’s one hot girl instructor?

Ok, what else that I did? That’s it I guess. Besides lots of eating. This time the food is nice. Breakfast, and then buffet lunch, and 2 tea breaks. More than enough, even for me.

At the end of the day, they did a SumoRobot competition. First I thought it’s going to be lame. Like, there’s 2 lego-like robots, pushing each other outside a small ring. Thats sounds lame to me, man. But, it turns out pretty interesting. You have to program the AI for the robot, use the signal from the sensors to turn, etc. And the thing runs .NET Compact Framework. The Australian ring-master really spice up the tournament. By speaking a Japanese accent, and repetitively making funny remarks about Australian lost at World Cup. I came back thinking maybe I should enter for the next tournament. Thats at TechEd SEA, next November. Or, maybe not.

Didn’t win anything this time. Last time I got 2 Microsoft keyboard. But my friend won an iPaq something model something. It’s a PDA-phone. Very nice. Slick, and not too bulky. I did got a souvenier bag. It’s a geek bag that you usually see geeks use (who else would use a geek bag?). I really wanted this thing. A good way to express your inner geek. And I got a t-shirt. Very cheap, yet sexy, ‘coz the fabric is not really good.

Ok, then I went back on my motorcycle (her name is Wahida), and I listen to the radio with my handphone (my hp can play radio, yours can ah?), coz my motor don’t have stereo system. And then I heard this song “Stars Are Blind” by.. guess who? Paris Hilton. Her debut single. Which actually sounds quite nice. Because the music sounds like ska. I like ska. But after I saw the video clip (it’s Paris Hilton guys, gotta download the video), I realised it’s more like reggae. But I don’t really like Paris, ‘coz she a *tut*. Her voice sounds like Gwen Stephani. Gwen should’ve sing it better. Or maybe Sixpence None The Richer would be better. A lot of actors going into singing these days (does Paris act?). Like Hillary Duff. But she sounds quite nice, I like her. And some time ago there’s this song, “Barenaked” by Jennifer Love Hewitt, which I like also.

Ok, that concludes my MEDC 2006. My entry this time is mundane, lack of good choice of words. Maybe because it’s 1.44 AM right now, and I’m tired. Ok, good night.

Do you wan’t to post comments to a blog entry or an article somewhere, but doesn’t want the writer to know that it is you who wrote it? Well, don’t you worry, I am going to tell you exactly how to do it. Just read on…

To show you how to post anonymously, let us use the Blogger blog engine as an example. First, you have to look for a Blogspot hosted blog (such as this one), and navigate yourself to a link which say “comment”, or something similar that implies that you can put comments by clicking that link.

You’ll come to a page where there’s a big textbox where you can put you comments in. Hold on, don’t put the comment just yet. We got to make sure that this blog allows comments to be posted anonymously. Look for a radio button next to the word “Anonymous”. When you found in, directly click on the particular radio button (refer Figure 1).

Figure 1
WARNING: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT click on the radio button which has the word “Blogger” or “Other”. The “Blogger” option (refer Figure 2) provides you a login form so you can use a Blogger account, which will make yourself identifiable. That is totally against our objective. The “Other” option (refer Figure 3), on the other hand, provides textboxes where you can put in a name and a web page address (if you have any). This is also wrong. We are trying to make ourself unrecognizable, so giving informations like this is the last thing we want to do.

Figure 2

Figure 3
Ok, on to the next step, which is quite simple and enjoyable. Locate the big textbox, throw in some text in there. Remember, since you are unidentifiable, you are free to write anything your heart content. So let your imagination runs wild.

Finally, click the “Publish Your Comment” button to publish your comment… And we are all done! Easy isn’t it. You can repeat the steps for a couple of times if you wish. Just to make sure you done it right. And one more thing, do not sign your name at the bottom of the comment. Readers will know your name if you do that, even if you’ve already click on the “Anonymous” radio button.

In spite of the common ground of the Internet community, that posting anonymously in a blog, or a forum, or for an article is unethical and a cowardly act, we don’t have to abide to an intangle rule like that. The cyber world itself is anarchy and allow faceless communication, so why should we voluntarily give in our precious identity?! Just so that the writer (and other readers) know who they are conversing with? No thank you, that is just so lame for an excuse.

Editor’s note to the sensitive souls: Sarcasm hurts. But this is a sincere attempt of stabbing the sharp and cold blade of conscience into your numb anonymous-loving hearts.

Johnny just cut his hair. This is what Johnny said to me, right after the hair-cutting event took place, and I quote:

“This is too short man. Too bloody f*cking short!”

Poor Johnny. This reminds me of some what the same incident I had a long time ago. Which I’ve aptly poetized into a haiku.

Sorry, no pics said Johnny. ‘Coz it’s too bloody f*cking short.

Been busy lately (you say: heard that before, man. berapa kali mahu ulang). Dah tu.. aku mmg busy, pehal ko tak puas hati pulak! Ok, sorry.. sorry, no need to be angry.

Byk kerja beb.. (you say: byk kerja boleh lukis gajah?). Hek eleh… lu pehal kerek nih! Suka hati aku la nak lukis gajah ke, kambing ke, labi-labi ke, triceretops ke.. lantak la!! Aku lukis pun pakai mouse aku.. Ada aku pinjam mak sedara kau punya mouse?! Posmen kau punya ibu susuan punya mouse?! Huh! Ada?!

Ok, cool.. cool.. Buat marah-marah ni.. So, because I’ve been busy (you say: busy lagi..)
.
.
HEY KAU, LAHANAT! DIAM LAAHHH! KO DENGAR JE APA AKU NAK CITER BOLEY TAK!!!

Ok, sambung balik.. I’ve been busy.. DIAM!! …Ok, bagus, tahu pun ko….
Jadi, sbb dah busy lama, jadi I think I deserve to have myself an entry yg ringan2 mcm ni, yg without any trace of useful information what so ever… (you say: eleh, gajah tu ada useful information ke)

HEEEYYYYY KAU.. ADA LAGI!!! BERAMBUSS LA KAU.. CILAKA LU..

Sampai mana tadi? Ah yes, free of any substance of knowledge. 0.0% intelligence detected. Oh, yes, if you are allergic to stupidity, it is advisable that you stop here. Right here. After the dot. Here. Yes, thats it. There, the dot. Yeah, that dot you already passed by. Ok, I give you another chance of a dot. This one. Arghh… Ok. I think you got that already… Hmmm, that’s quite some spectacular dots we had. Oh, this one is not that bad also.

Ok, enough, lets proceed on what we’re planning to do… Errh, apa tadi? Ah, yes, mindless blogging session. Yes, mcm ni la… I will totally ignore grammar, vocabulary, speling, content, no backspace now. just on oand on with honest mistakewa ans sloppy tyopijgn skiillZ.. wow my typing is hprrible. no bakspade.. wwo.. i dont even realisze taht i relu on bakspace too much all these long.. eh elok plakj.. eh.. kelajap seok ekajap tak… eh lui sudah gila ka.. lu otak rosak ka lu…. lu tada idea ka mau tilus apa huh.. kejap la aku carik aide ni.. eh jap.. kalaui mmindless mcm mana nak ada idea=.. ko gilre…. busukkk…. kejiii.. hinaaa…

…yang menjulang kotak dan berdiri di atas kerusi!

p.s: Aku nak lukis bola sebenarnya, tapi nampak mcm kotak pulak. Mouse mcm crap. Bukan salah tangan yg melukis.

World Cup datang lagi. Masa yg membosankan utk golongan minority seperti aku, iaitu golongan orang-orang yang tak minat tengok bola.

Kalau borak-borak ramai mesti orang cerita pasal bola. Makan kat cafe ofis pun orang cakap pasal bola. Pasal siapa lawan malam ni. Pasal semalam punya game berapa score. Siapa yang score. Dari dalam kotak penalti atau luar. Membosankan.

Namun bagitu, aku tak lah jahil sangat pasal bola ni. Untuk membuktikannya, mari aku list kan perkara-perkara bola yang aku tahu.

1. Bola sepak berbentuk sfera. Isipadu sfera dikira menggunaka rumus (4/3)πj³.

2. Satu pasukan bola sepak ialah 11 orang. Ada 2 pasukan berlawan. Maka semasa satu-satu game berjalan, ada 22 orang di dalam padang (tidak termasuk referee, atau paramedic dam polis)
3. Arsenal tak bermain dalam World Cup.
4. Maradona pernah tumbuk masuk bola dalam gol. Dia tak mengaku masa tu, dan kata itu disebabkan “the hand of god”.
5. Rooney sakit kaki. Ramai berharap dia cepat sembuh dan dapat main.
6. Game pertama tempoh hari ialah Jerman vs Costa Rica. Jerman score 6 bijik.
7. Kalau kau sebutkan satu negara kat aku, aku tahu itu team “underdog” atau tak. Tapi aku tak pasti dia main dlm World Cup ke tak.
8. Lagu “Football Mad Nation” nyanyian Disagree & Pop Shuvit tu tak sedap. Lagu OAG, “The Name Of The Game”, masa Piala Dunia Remaja buat kat sini dulu lagi sedap.

Dulu, kalau orang tanya, aku predict siapa menang World Cup, aku akan jawab Myanmar. Tapi sekarang aku jawab Kampuchea.

Addendum: Perhatian, Jerman tak score 6 bijik. Diulangi, Jerman TAK score 6 bijik!